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drama times 8 million.

ok. here it is.

yikes.

1 sec... its its 10am. i been up since like 6 pm yesterday... and i need another shot. i swear i could almost finish this fifth tonihgt. i swear.

wow. a fifth. this whole drinkning is getting pretty bad huh? oh well.

so yeah the drama. the drunken drama. aye yi yi. im going to pull a wildcard on those who dont know me personally... which is about 98% percent of people who read this.

but first, for the newbies; a round of catch-up:

my names dan parker, im a drunk. im broke. im unempoyed/. (see donation taker paypal mcthing at the bottom) my ex girlfriend is michelle, shes 26, im 22, if that matters to you people. and shes the first girl ive let my defenses donw for in years. problem is/was/is she never let down hers.

but today at 7am, 3 hours ago, she went into a doctors appointment to renew her old antidepressant medicine. shes been warming back up to me as of late. last friday night we had psuedosex (see previous entry).

so. yourthingking, gee, this is every other diary on the diaryland.

NO. nnnooooooooooooo. leaver it to dan parker to throw in the wildcard. leave it to dann-o. (call me dann-o.... i punch your gullet, even tho im not sre where that is. i think the stomach.)

the wildcard? weeeeeeeeellllllll..............

here it is. im lonley. i signed up a while back... for... sigh... an internet dating service. only met one person..... but shes awesome. but shes in rhode island... im in michigan. so nooooowwww...... as things get heat up with michelle.... she wants to come visit next week. FUCk. and this isnt me wondering how i juggle two girls at all. im a one girl guy. but the thing is... is that.... if things are to work out with Rhode island... shed need to move here.... and knowing someone from the internet for a month... then BAM moving in....... thats just scary. michelle could wanna move in and id say fine... cuase i know what to expect, not just cuase ive met her... but cuase ive known her. like KNOWN her. i just dont know how to break it to this girl(rhode island)... that ive been so into... that... im just not ready... and that theres this other thing going on here... and... oy vey.

keep in mind, the only reason i signed up, was becuase i thought michelle was gone for good, and i was soooo fucking lonley and depressed.

and i wonder if the only reason i get along with rhode island so well, is that shes so far away, and i knew nothing serious could happen.....

but i just... id do anything for michelle. and feels like shes finally catching on to that... and shes willing to return that back....

but i dunno....

shes so confusing.

oh fuck this sucks.

i know al ot of you will probably say... whatever. 2 girls, ha. i widsh i had youre problems. but seriously. im so emotional. and the fact that someone... maybe two or three people are going to be crushed on my account. this is not what it seems. im going to come out of this (if i do at all) destroyed. and im already a drunken loser. i dont know how i can get much lower.

as i wrote this: confused as fuck.
mood: confused as fuck.
drunk when i wrote this? confused as fuck.