�little life of horrors.�

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWDY BUCKAROOS.

thats right. you thought i was dead.

but HA! Dan Parker LIVES! but oh soooo many tales. I swear, a drunks life shouldnt be this interesrtting. for raeals, dawg. FOR REALS.... DAWG.

so anyhow, ya ask me... "DAn-o... where ya been?" an i says, "shut the fuck up, sit down an listen to what the fuck i gots to say."

so yeah. to be honest i had a long lapse, where i felt like advertising my woe was like some sort of form of... i dunno. something. shut up. so the current status:

OK. yes. the rumors are true. Daniel J. Parker has, in fact, been to prison. oh yeah. the clink. the big house. the ... something. ok. just for a night. but you wouldbnt have lasted two seconds!

Guesses as to what i went to jail for? oh you know it. O.... followed by a U..... into a I... and a big ol' L. OUIL. i dunno what it stands for, but it means i put my hands on a steering whell, and hit the gas whilst i had a few drinks in me.

"BUT DAN-O," you start to say.... and i relpy "I SAID SIT THE FUCK DOWN, MOTHERFUVKER."

thats right. i drove drunk. on july 6th. at 3am. i never drive drunk. but a band that played at the bar i went to, asked me to move my car. so i moved it to a differenbt parking spot,. BOOM. BUSTED. IN THRE GODDAMNED PARKING LOT.

*sigh*

i dont wanna talk about that any more.

then you ask...

"But Da-," "HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU TO SHIUT THE H(FU(CK (UUP}!"

man ijust went haywire on the keyboard. that was really fucking fun.

so wheres michelle?

ah. michelle. ah. all for another time.

..........................................................

ok. how about now? yes that sounds good.

michelle. shes doing well. very well. of course, im writhing in pain. but shes ok an thats good. isnt that what you all want anyways??? fuck you.

but anyhow, she got promoted at her job. now runs a store all to herself. general manager an shit. shes really stressed, and i worry about her alot. but i cant offer her anything, so i havent really talked to her in months.

so am i still unemployerd?

yees.... kinda.

i worked at kinkos for a short time... 4 motnhts... but that came to an abrubt stop, when i fucked up too much. big fucking suprise, i know.

so yeah. im broke. oh yeah and the cops took my car. 15 bucks a day. and im broke. ill hopefully get it back tommorrow.

so yeah. for reals, if you love me... really love me... and want to see more.. i direct you down to the paypal button. if everyone who has me on their favorites paypak donates 5 to ten buckd, then youll help alot in my car/drinking situation.if you dont, then i wont send you chest-pains buttons or t-shirts im making. so there.

there so much more. a car accident with michelle, setting my apartment on fire, more running from the police, pathetic attempts at hitting on girls, michelle drama.... and soooo much more. all for another time. but i need more drink.

i love you all. thanks for all of you encouraginh me to start back on here.

rememer... if it goes down smooth...it must be good for you.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

dan-o j. mcparker.

ha!

as i wrote this:
mood:
drunk when i wrote this?